Hardwired for connection

penguinsWe cannot escape relationships. They are everywhere.

They are the connective tissue of life. Friend, spouse,

child, sibling, coworker, or neighbor, life is filled with

relationships of varying dimensions, spheres of

influence, and intensity.

Each of us is a product of some kind of

connection. In fact, we are born into Relationship

101, a.k.a. our family, which serves as our first social

unit and school for our first lessons in interpersonal

dynamics. This is where personality styles are formed

and family roles are acquired.

These early years are, indeed, formative. We

develop our modus operandi of how we relate to others

and how we operate in the world. Do we become

bullies, pleasers, shrinking violets, peacemakers, or

devil’s advocates?

As life progresses, we advance through the

relationship ranks. We learn how to make friends,

create enemies, find love, taste passion, explore

intimacy, plumb depths, fail love, and, if we are lucky,

as well as courageous, refind love.

Relationships stretch us like a rubber band,

sometimes to the point of breaking; they hollow us until

our innards echo. They take us to the very edge and

then call us back again.

Relationships test us. They make us question, cry,

rant, rave, disavow, and betray; they also warm our

hearts, make us glad to be alive, and allow us to jump

for joy, smile incandescently, and howl with delight.

Relationships are good teachers.


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2 Responses to Hardwired for connection

  1. Adele Ryan McDowell August 7, 2016 at 1:36 pm #

    Na’ama, thank you so much for expanding the conversation. Your insights add so much. Much love and many thanks.

  2. Na'ama August 7, 2016 at 12:05 pm #

    Indeed, relationships make us who we are, maintain who we can be, and provide fuel for who we are all still becoming. It is in the context of connection that we learn to communicate, and in the context of relating that we learn to relate not only to others, but also to ourselves. The experiences that form us, can also break us or stretch us, strengthen or weaken us. They literally build our brain and can continue changing us as long as we are drawing breath. Relationships are the lifeline, and connection and communication are the threads that weave us all together.