The message of resentments

Have you ever felt supreme resentment over another’s action? How dare they do that to you, you of all people! You have always been there for them. You have sacrificed for them. You have rearranged your life for them. They have the unmitigated gall to ignore, hurt or rebuff you. How could they!

Sound familiar? Such is the human condition when you feel resentful. More than likely you have been insulted or betrayed. You feel they only thought of themselves. You were not considered in the mix. It’s a painful place to be.

Resentments can be enormous and searing; they also can be subtle little wounds that continuously dig into your ego. Your feelings are hurt. You may share your affronted feelings with others in an effort to be validated and proven right, or you may silently nurse them.

Interestingly, resentments come bearing a message. It’s as if the grand hall of your psyche has been opened with pomp and circumstance; the enormous horns are raised and sounded to herald the forthcoming proclamation. The communiqué is this: Resentments are signals that you are not being responsible for yourself.

“Not responsible,” you sputter. “I am ALWAYS responsible.” Perhaps you are always responsible for and towards others. However, the rub is: Are you responsible for yourself? Have you stated your case, set your limits, created your boundaries or contained your energies? Has there been a sub-context or a hidden agenda? Did you just give all of yourself away — again?

Resentments are potent reminders that you have not taken full responsibility for yourself, your needs and your desires. Resentments have a hidden message — “Stand up for yourself” – that has yet to be identified, honored or expressed.


“Our resentments bind us to the person with a cord stronger than steel.”
Emmet Fox


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8 Responses to The message of resentments

  1. Adele Ryan McDowell July 18, 2017 at 4:16 pm #

    Glad it was helpful, dear one. xx

  2. Adele Ryan McDowell July 18, 2017 at 4:14 pm #

    I know. Great wisdom from Emmet Fox.

  3. Gayook July 17, 2017 at 4:14 pm #

    This post came at an opportune time for me and my family, although not sure the latter would like to hear it. Thanx for shining a mirror for me.

  4. Rebecca July 14, 2017 at 8:33 am #

    That Emmet Fox quote- so true!

  5. Adele Ryan McDowell July 13, 2017 at 10:55 pm #

    It’s very tough to have a tyrannical boss who penalizes you for being assertive and protective and ignores prior conversations. One might wonder if he/she is threatened by you. One might suggest he/she is a bully and this makes them feel powerful. That said, I suggest you consider how best to serve and honor yourself. Perhaps parallel path and look for other work or ride it out, knowing change happens? Do you have people who will support you while you live under this hopefully temporary tyranny? Are you good at self-care? Do what you can to keep yourself whole and healthy while your work environment is not great and, most likely, super frustrating. Try not to spend a lot of energy dissecting your bully boss. Instead spend time making connections, increasing your skill set, doing a great job, visualizing a far-better employment situation, networking and protecting yourself. My suggestion: Do for you and stay under the radar. Good luck!

  6. Adele Ryan McDowell July 13, 2017 at 10:41 pm #

    Ohhh, Dianna, I know you know what I know. Take precious care. xx

  7. diana deregnier July 13, 2017 at 11:17 am #

    Just went to that realm yesterday. Thanks for your insights! LOL

  8. Xochicalco July 12, 2017 at 9:21 pm #

    What about a boss who gets to be tyrannical without consequences despite numerous conversations? I was demoted for setting boundaries.