Have you ever felt supreme resentment over another’s action? How dare they do that to you, you of all people! You have always been there for them. You have sacrificed for them. You have rearranged your life for them. They have the unmitigated gall to ignore, hurt or rebuff you. How could they!
Sound familiar? Such is the human condition when you feel resentful. More than likely you have been insulted or betrayed. You feel they only thought of themselves. You were not considered in the mix. It’s a painful place to be.
Resentments can be enormous and searing; they also can be subtle little wounds that continuously dig into your ego. Your feelings are hurt. You may share your affronted feelings with others in an effort to be validated and proven right, or you may silently nurse them.
Interestingly, resentments come bearing a message. It’s as if the grand hall of your psyche has been opened with pomp and circumstance; the enormous horns are raised and sounded to herald the forthcoming proclamation. The communiqué is this: Resentments are signals that you are not being responsible for yourself.
“Not responsible,” you sputter. “I am ALWAYS responsible.” Perhaps you are always responsible for and towards others. However, the rub is: Are you responsible for yourself? Have you stated your case, set your limits, created your boundaries or contained your energies? Has there been a sub-context or a hidden agenda? Did you just give all of yourself away — again?
Resentments are potent reminders that you have not taken full responsibility for yourself, your needs and your desires. Resentments have a hidden message — “Stand up for yourself” – that has yet to be identified, honored or expressed.
“Our resentments bind us to the person with a cord stronger than steel.”